Rancho Relaxo

The fine art of white trashin', deep fryin', and slow smokin'

The MAN TRIP Award OF Excellence

As a way of congratulating blatant stupidity in the face of an overestimated reserve of common sense, I bring you the MAN TRIP Award of Excellence:

2002: As is usually the case, stupidity manifests itself in pairs. In the wee-hours of Sunday morning, November 3^rd 2002, Bryan Steamside & Clark Snack decided that the entire 10 pounds of prime filet mignon needed to be thawed in preparation for a mid-butt-crack-of-dawn snack. After placing the meat under warm water, the pair proceeded to "take a little twelve-hour, alcohol-induced knap".

2003: Staying consistent with the theme of pairs, Reed Wayne and Andy Eznutts entered their bid early on Thursday, October 30^th 2003, by ignoring Texas common law with respect to beer and liquor purchasing. Although Reed had lived in Houston, TX for all of two months, he had not yet discovered that beer and liquor purchases end at 11:00pm. After receiving news of this small oversight, the remaining crew salvaged the situation by purchasing beer in Ruston, LA ten minutes before closing at midnight.

2004: This year was a toss-up, but the award goes to Don Cornelius Bergstrom and Animal Armstrong for expertly 'controlling' the 'non-native', 'introduced' population of mallard ducks through skillful marksmanship. Special consideration goes to Animal Armstrong for depleting his four thousand pound stock pile of C0₂ cartridges while performing an 'all-night' African beat with his air percussion (read: pellet gun). Both events occurred on Saturday, November 6^th 2004.

2005: Don Cornelius Bergstrom, with the assistance of Clark Snack, made it two years in a row for his innovative extermination techniques. Annoyed by a wasp nest, Don Cornelius and company attempted to detach and destroy the nest by tossing "easy to procure" objects. After depleting all available artillery, Don Cornelius used sticks of unsalted butter as makeshift projectiles. Mmm....buttered house...yummy.

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