Rancho Relaxo

The fine art of white trashin', deep fryin', and slow smokin'

 

 

Spring Break '95

South Padre Island, TX.
THE SAGA CONTINUES...

CHARACTERS:

"THE PUKES"

Derrick"need a diaper"Draper as the educated farmhand Enis
Jay Abbatiello as the GODFATHER
Chad Grout as the legendary lover Wilt Chamberlain
Cameron Carlile as O.J. Simpson
Lyle Donan as "Conan the Pedestrian"

"Los Activos"

Phil Ayres as Senator Phil Ayres
Scott Kopetz as "The One-Armed Man"
Tom Schory as the immoral Emmanuelle

WHEN:

Saturday morning March 4, 1995 at 5:30 a.m.

to

Some other time a week later

WHERE:

333 Padre Boulevard
South Padre Island, Cameron County, Texas
Bridgepoint Condominiums
Room # 208
Phone (210) 761-6858
Main Office - Tim Turner (800) 221-1402
 

Padre Rules:(for the chemically imbalanced)

1. Do not cause any chemical or physical change to the condo’s atomic structure.
2. Do not become familiar with the ER staff at Padre.
3. Avoid spending too much time with the aesthetically challenged.
4. Swan dives off the balcony are not highly recommended.
5. Clothes are optional.
6. Do not tell anyone your REAL name.
7. Use of heavy equipment is prohibited and in most cases impossible.

Padre Rules:(for the guys laughing at the chemically imbalanced)

1. Prevent the chemically imbalanced from getting arrested.
2. Hem anybody you feel needs one.
3. Act like you are a famous country music singer from Nashville, TN on a mission to Padre to help beautiful women feel they are wanted.
4. Make naked, chemically imbalanced pledges feel like they are physically inadequate to be Alpha Tau Omega’s.
5. Take pictures (This comes in handy when you feel like somebody owes you something).
6. Have fun, it’s free!

"Beyond The Bull"

Saturday March 4, 1995

5:30am - Meet at the house and have all your gear! There will be three vehicles going. My Blazer is designated as a smoking vehicle. That means that tobacco products may be smoked in my vehicle. That does not mean that other things can be smoked in my car. Scott and Draper are also driving, but you can’t smoke in their vehicles.

3:30pm - Hopefully we will arrive in Marshall, Texas. We have a big-ole lodge out in the woods that you better like, because it’s free.

3:30pm to 12:00 midnight - Sit your rear at the lodge and don’t screw anything up.

12:00 midnight - I’ll bring some friends out.

Sunday March 5, 1995

9:00am - We say good-bye to Marshall and head to Padre.

7:00pm - Hopefully we will be at the condo sometime around this time. When we get there, we can take a quick knap and then go out. Don’t kid yourself, you’ll need a quick nap after that drive.

Monday March 6, 1995 to Friday March 10, 1995 - I know I won’t remember what happens! Maybe you can tell me sometime.

Saturday March 11, 1995 to Sunday March 12, 1995 - Same thing coming back!

 

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